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Weapons Of Warfare

The Pen is Mightier Than The Sword

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Stagnant

I had an epiphonetic moment this morning. I was thinking about how hard it is to move forward when you want to move forward but you can’t move. Or at least you feel like you can’t move. Like being under anesthesia, being fully awake and not in control of any of your faculties. You can see everything going on around you. Life, people, comparison, all moving at what looks like the speed of life while you lay motionless and unable to participate. It’s not that you don’t want to. you desperately want to. you want to be put in the game and you want to run the ball as far as you can get it. But your benched. Its hard thing to swallow when you know you should, and you beat yourself up constantly because you aren’t moving forward, you haven’t done this… and you’re not there yet. You’re here. Doing absolutely nothing. Spectating at your own life and the lives of others. Comparison is the silent killer in these moments. Not only must you contend with yourself, and your own thought, you have to deal with what seems like the reality that life and everyone else are passing you by.

Then there’s the cry for help. We’re not even in touch with what’s really going on with us, so we ask for help the same ways that we always have. Attention seeking. Self -loathing and miserable Facebook posts that suggest that no one cares about you. Some even point blank say – you don’t care about me. But when the people come and they look, and they share the concern – you have nothing to say. You can’t even tell them what’s wrong and where to start. Because the fact of the matter is, you’ve always been here. And in this moment, neither one of us knows me and what’s wrong with me. Go figure.

The saddest thing for me is. The constant thought process. I’ve always been a thinker, I overthink. It’s probably ruining and saving my life all at the same time. But to have these logical thoughts, to be able to logically reason and understand what is happening. To take in the precepts and the concepts of whom Jesus Christ is and what role He plays in all this mess — to be able to spout out some of the most poignant, piercing realizations about this process and what it all means. Things that help other people go the distance. Things that help other people feel they’re not only not alone, but understood. Hope for tomorrow. And it means absolutely nothing for you. You can’t even speak that same word over yourself and it mean a thing.

N O T H I N G . What does it mean when The Lord uses you to speak to your own situation and your situation won’t receive it? When you’re completely numb to it. When it hits others and changes the atmosphere immediately. When the thought processes start to change. And it resonates with you on an intellectual level but does nothing for the inner recesses of your soul; the darkest parts of you that hurt the most.

it’s scary to think that you may never totally be free. Never out of the woods for good. That depression is something that goes into remission and rears its ugly head whenever it so chooses. That life will forever encompass this disease, this issue, this dark cloud. && For the rest of your life, all you can do is try and prepare for the rain.

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See People.

I just want to see people. I want to see all the people that feel like I’ve felt. The folk that mosey on out of the room unnoticed because everyone is engaged with someone and they have no one. I want to notice all the people that feel small, and do for them all the things that I wish someone would say or do in the moments that I feel the smallest. I want to ask folk how they’re doing and genuinely mean it. Not out of protocol or manners, but because I wonder has anyone asked and really cared? I want people to feel seen- to be glad they showed up today because had they not, the would’ve missed the encounter. I just want people to feel like they matter. It’s hard feeling like you wouldn’t be missed if you weren’t around. Or that if you weren’t there, no one would notice. No one would ask, “have you seen such and such lately? Checked in with them? heard from them?”… I am proof that someone somewhere would be looking for you! People from yesteryear cross my mind every day. Shame on me for not reaching out and letting them know they were on my mind. But there isn’t a day that goes by that someone that I used to know, or currently know that I haven’t seen or talked to – doesn’t cross my mind.

Even if you feel like no one is looking for you, you still matter. Your existence is still important. Life would be different for someone tomorrow if you weren’t here today. We need you. We need your specific contribution to this space in this very moment. We need what you bring to the table. We need your ideas, your visions and your dreams to come to fruition. We need your hopes that you hang your heart on. We need you! We need you to raise your children in the way that only you can – that will set them on the path of change to be a chain-breaker in this world. We need your grandchildren to be the visionary for a lost generation. We need your footprint that crosses the path of so many to leave an indelible imprint on the lives of others.

Today may not feel like your day. Today you may feel invisible. But we still need you. Someone is thinking of you. You are crossing someone’s mind right now. A stranger that doesn’t know you needs your smile, needs your “thank you.” Someone needs your, “You’re welcome,” today. Someone needs to see your smile today. And even on the days where none of this seems possible to you; and you just can’t believe it to be true. We need you tomorrow also. You’re someone’s reason for getting up.

Sometimes its the smallest things that matter. Missed you today.

Mask Off

I’ve learned that mask we often wear to hide portions of ourselves and our lives is more of a prison for ourselves than protection from ridicule and pain at the hands of others… When we wear a mask, no one is able to get to know, care for, and love the real us… So when the real US shows up – whether it inability to hide it because it’s spilling over, or we’re tired of keeping up the facade; the people that we love have a hard time supporting, relating, and helping us because they don’t know us in that space…they aren’t sure how to support this version of us because they’ve never been privileged to know it. And this leaves us vulnerable and alone, which many of us fear the most. Isn’t it ironic that we put up all these walls and barriers to protect ourselves from the heartbreak of being abandoned and being seen for whom and what we really are… Only to be equally if not more heartbroken because we end up abandoned and heartbroken through our own protective measures when the real us decides to show up?

I Decided.

I decided that I don’t want to settle in my life anymore.


I don’t want to be pessimistic out of fear of disappointment when I really want to be excited. I don’t want to be doubtful instead of hopeful because my expectations weren’t met. I don’t want to continue without expectation because it/he/they may fall short of that expectation. I don’t want to spend another day afraid to dream, to have hope for the things in my heart as if they’re off limits to me. I don’t want to cheer/push/pray/or drag another person into their destiny and forget about mine. I don’t want to take the first mate that I think I like because he likes me but doesn’t rise to the occasion or meet the standard. I don’t want to accept disrespect because it’s become familiar. I don’t want to be taken advantage of for the sake of people being around, and I don’t want to be anyone’s seconds, after thought, or back burner – backup plan. And I don’t want to doubt that who I am right now is not enough, not another day. Just not what I wanna do anymore. I deserve more. HE guarantees me more. I owe it to myself and the grace over my life to be present in it, expecting to receive all that has my name on it. That’s what I wanna do.#reachoutandgrabit

.. Don’t mind me….#30iscoming and I speak a shift over every area of my life! My faith, my finances, my friendships, my business, my relationships, my mind, my heart, the way that I perceive, receive and interpret information, my home, and everything connected to me. Change starts with the decision to change & I decided!

YOU ARE NOT FOR EVERYONE

This – my people, are out there. For every person that “doesn’t know how to take me,” for every time I’ve been labeled for being exactly who I am. For speaking the way that I do. For not filtering my responses or opinions to satisfy the palettes of others.. For every time I’ve said what everyone else was thinking but did not say. For my way. My way of being. My way of interacting or not interacting. For every time I tried to be someone or something else to be appealing and appeasing and you still “don’t know how to take,” either of those options. For every time you told me to be my true authentic self, and even then that wasn’t enough. For every time I silenced the voice that God gave me because reception may be off – even when I knew He gave it to me to say… For every time you encouraged me with cliché quips about being made in His image, but you don’t like what you see. MY PEOPLE are out there. And even if I haven’t found all of them yet, even if my tribe isn’t fully assembled, they are out there. And they already love me, just as I am. Just as I was, and all of me that will come to be. I dare not withdraw, shrink, or hide myself for those that are not my people. They deserve the best of me. Not the self-esteem lacking rest of me. Not the leftovers from trying to fit in, be like, be appreciated, or being well received. Everything and everyone won’t be well received. Some of us are here to provide the harsh truths that make you change, make you think, make you reconsider, and push your patience and empathy to its next level. And if we’re not for you, that’s fine. I am not for everyone. I am not for most. But, my people are out there and they will love me fiercely.

Testify

This is why being honest about who you are and what you’ve been through and where you are, no matter how ugly, dark, or terrible it may be is important.

If you say to me, you got into a little fender binder, but everything is okay and you’re fine.. I might say, “oh no, I’m glad you’re okay!”.. But if you tell me that a car hit you, and your car rolled over three times, crossed two lanes of traffic, and you had to get 37 switches and a new hip, I would say..” Oh my God! That ain’t nobody but God, you are blessed girl! “…

Did you catch the difference?! If you hide the ugly and dark details, folk can’t really see what God has/is doing! All we can see is what YOU want us to see, and not what God has done! Just like the people on the gram selling waist trainers and diet pills… I can’t tell if something works for me if I haven’t seen it work for someone else LIKE ME! Put a fat girl in a waist trainer and show me HER BEFORE and after pics so I can see what it can really do! So I can see if it will work for me!

I said all that to say if you’re not willing to show people your before – what God has done, fixed, restored, brought you through – honestly and earnestly… How will people know if He really works? If He’s worth trying?

Stop hiding God’s work to save face! Where you are now only matters because of where you’ve been!

Depression is not…

One time for the Super saved saints in the front row…

Things depression are not:
– a lack of faith in God
– a lack of trust in God
– the inability to see how blessed you are
– the inability to recognize favor on your life
– an emotional moment that can be turned off by “being positive”
– a choice

Things depression are:
– very real. Period.

Sometimes it’s best to pray and be silent. If you don’t know what to say, say nothing. This is a golden rule. People don’t need to know you’re praying, or your 2 cents before you pray. Just pray. Because telling folk they “should just…” is dead before you finish the sentence.

Carry on.

April The Giraffe

Sometimes we can see all that God has endowed a person with, and all the amazing things they will do once they “walk in their calling,” or submit to the process and give birth to that thing that the people and the world need, that we get frustrated with them! We even get frustrated when it’s us that is reluctant or stagnant in the birthing process! But apparently everything is a process and most have a definitive beginning and a definite end – and there’s no other way around BUT to trust the process. Case in point, April The Giraffe {Duh!} many folks have been waiting, watching, and frustrated because of all the times that the biology predicted she’d be in labor – there was no baby. And every day she got closer was the supposed day… And everyday folks got more frustrated. Mind you, April is the one in the birthing process, she was Chillin.. It was ‘man’ that has rushed her process. Apparently, today is the day she will give birth…and just think from the time she was speculated to actually give birth until now – how premature that birth would’ve been. Moral of the story… If God has begun something in you that you will birth, let no man rush – let no fear hinder- let not timetable other than God’s be your focus. Trust the process.

I haven’t watched or cared about the giraffe one way or the other, but this word is definitely for me 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤔

A Call to Action

Calling ALL folks. Christians. Parents. People with Eyeballs…..

Our children and babies are not collectibles.

Our children and babies are not collectibles that sit on the shelf.

Dressed to perfection creating a false perception of our hood wealth.

They are more than figures modeling gold chains, sagging jeans, and the Jordan that just came out,

Or lip gloss on lips, ridiculous weaves, and hands on hips poking out.

They are more than a tax deduction, an income credit, and EBT instead of debit.

More than a ticket into our very first low income house,

With broken blinds, sheets as curtains, in a neighborhood they’ll never come out.

So much more than the product of violent, or broken, illegitimate relationships.

You know, sex with an ex that’s supposed to let.. the rest know, that’s your man..

Or girl after girl after girl to prove to the world that I am more than what they say I am.

Our teenagers are more than babysitters for our younger kids,

They are people with feelings, and voices, and lives to be lived.

More than our indentured servants–bring it here, gimme that, and go get me this..

Or housekeepers in charge because we don’t FEEL like doing it..

More than things we have to put up with, responsibilities, or something to do..

So we can run the streets, have me time, because momma gotta have a life too.

They are more than the resentment of the Grandmother made mother for the 2nd, 3rd, or 4th time,

Or the father they’ll never know, in and out of jail committed to a life of crime.

I can’t speak for you, but I want our children to mean so much more,

Than the face of a black lives matter protest, killed on the way to the store.

Or the life that was taken at the wrong place and the wrong time,

Out being ministered to and raised by the world because they weren’t a priority of mine.

See, the world is not waiting for us to try and understand,

Why they do this, look like that, and what’s going on with their pants.

It’s still spinning, still turning, and drawing them in,

While our beliefs are on repeat.. “fornication before marriage is a sin..”

Our children need love, guidance, respect and protection from this world,

More importantly the opportunity to be a little boy or little girl.

The time is now for you to use what you’ve got and get involved,

God doesn’t require you have it all together and that your problems be solved.

You can no longer complain and pray about the condition of this generation,

If you refuse to act, become involved and bring change to the situation.

We want to save them and change them so they can come to know God for themselves

But we ignore them, undervalue them like silenced dolls on a shelf.

God says the children are a heritage from The Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward,

But we judge them, alienate them to the point they won’t even darken the door.

How can we be salt and light for them, exposing them to truth,

When our actions towards them don’t provide them any proof?

I came and said all of this to say,

 Don’t put off tomorrow what you can start today.

If we don’t step in and take back the youth of this generation,

It could be your child’s face on the tv station.

Your daughter could be the very next Sandra Bland,

Or the next baby momma to a disrespectful excuse for man.

Or that could be your son walking out on his responsibility,

“nah..that ain’t my son, having a baby ain’t for me..”

You may be thinking, I’m not equipped, called, or a parent, what can I do?

But God says train up and child in the way that he should go, and He was talking to you.

So if you think that you can turn a blind eye, do nothing and still get to the gate,

And slide right on in because He made your crooked ways straight..

I’m here to tell you that God won’t be pleased,

Especially when Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these..”

-ShleeMuhhrie

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