Why does getting involved in a person’s situation automatically equate to trying to save or fix a person? Who said this, and what is the notion behind the thought? Has it become so customary to ignore what others are going through and press toward our own mark that we are expected to turn a blind eye to the actual lives of other people? So much so, that when you get involved or try to help, you’re automatically considered to be doing too much? That you are constantly reminded that you can’t “fix” anybody and you can’t save the world, and certainly you can’t save them all… How did we get here, and how did I get trapped in between the two?
I feel an immeasurable amount of guilt every time my heart says go, because I hear in my ears, “you can’t fix her..” When in reality, I believe I am quite clear that I can’t fix anybody. I don’t have what it takes to even fix myself, so how dare I believe or even think that I can fix another human being. I whole heartedly believe that only God is in the fixing business… of course he doesn’t quite use the word ‘fix’ to describe what it is that only He can do. He heals, He Restores, He brings and gives life, He does all of those things.. But I’ve never once heard the Bible say He fixed anything.
Never the less, I am always caught between the two.
I don’t know what it means to want better and more for someone else more so than you do for yourself. I don’t know that it’s normal, or that I should even care that it is. Maybe it’s one of those things that if I pour myself out to be used by God, He will in turn come and take care of all my business. So, does it matter that I want people to do and be things that I can’t even imagine about myself? As long as God’s people are being ministered to, experiencing the love of Christ and are being helped, does it really matter? I can’t quite explain the feeling that I have but it is so immediate and so overwhelming that it makes me emotional when I can’t do. I know it’s easier to do in the name of The Lord than it is to wait on The Lord.. But I often wonder, doesn’t this thing that I have come from The Lord?
You may not know me, but I certainly no me and one of my less flattering characteristics is my innate ability to be selfish. I am an only child, so it’s quite easy for me! And even in all my growth, I see subtle signs of selfishness in most of the things that I do. Even down to when I am having contemplative thought processes to myself or just have a lot on my mind. There are days my thoughts are so consuming that I can walk right past you, not speak and not think twice about it. Selfish. Rude. Some days I have to check the motives in my heart because they don’t always feel like they’re in the right place. Selfish. Sometimes I just don’t feel like being bothered, and I don’t rejoice with those that are rejoicing. Shoot. Sometimes I’m down right envious, and it takes me a minute to get to the rejoicing part. And more often than not, I spend so much time comparing this, this, and this about me with that, that, that of someone else, I can hardly see anything amazing going on inside of me. Knowing all of these things about myself, I then wonder where the desire to be involved, help, or push someone else to a better situation comes from. It must come from God because nothing inside of me is that good or that selfless to do so. Impossible!
You’re probably thinking like me, as I just stated that sometimes I have to check my motives and it is quite possible that serving others could be a way to exalt myself – especially on the days that I am feeling less than excited about who and what I am or have become. I could totally see that, and I would think the same thing. But more often than not, it doesn’t even matter to me. The premise is this. I’m so used to not receiving or not allowing myself to receive, that it doesn’t even matter anymore what or how much if anything I do for anyone because I never expect anything in return, let alone anything in-kind. That’s not the important thing to me.
The most important thing to me is growth. Because if I could fix something for someone else, they could easily break it again. However, when a person is growing and changing, more often than not; they’re more likely to continue pressing forward. That’s not to say they won’t go back. I mean, we all sing the song, but we’ve all found ourselves going back at some point in our lives. It is what it is. But I just think it’s important to stretch beyond what we are comfortable with and push for some of the things we thought we’d never have because we’re too afraid to try. I always think to myself, how can anyone ever get a leg up or move forward if they’re never given the opportunity to start? For some people, it takes a lot of assistance to start..but once they realize they are capable of doing it themselves with the love and encouragement of someone that believes in them even more than they believe in themselves, progress is sure to be made. Change happens. Everyone is capable of change and living a better life. But it requires moving forward, past, and through the fear it takes to get to the other side. People have a lot of baggage. There are lots of things that prevent us from moving forward, but it takes time to work through some of that stuff. And sometimes, you need someone to walk with you through some of that stuff.
Granted. We’re all super busy and have a lot going on in our own lives. And we let the enemy trick us into believing that we aren’t equipped to help someone else because of our own messes. But that’s not how God works. Actually, I see God all up in the entire process. Which brings me back to my question, is it the world and jaded people saying we can’t fix someone else.. or is just a misunderstanding. Fix you, no.. not interested in that. Love you in a way that allows you to accept and love yourself the way Christ loves you – absolutely. It boggles my mind the things people are dealing with these days. There’s always someone going through, struggling with more than what we are and yet we are so wrapped up in our own stuff and way of being that it’s almost shocking when someone does care about us. When someone loves us despite our mess. When someone goes above and beyond just because they love us, care about us, want better for us. I’m almost positive this is the Love that Christ shows the Church. I could be wrong, but love like that doesn’t just exist amongst man without Christ as the catalyst. We’re too selfish in our nature to lay aside the weights and burdens that cause us to sin, to truly love another person the way Christ did – without Christ being involved.
I don’t know. I could be wrong.
Caught in between the two.