For those that truly believe that God has placed a call on your life, there will be a time when God absolutely will call you higher and require more from you…in order to go deeper in your walk and higher in your relationship with Him, one must change their focus to the things that hinder our progression in faith. In this season of solitude, separatism, and wilderness that He is calling us to, it is time to change our focus from the people and things we use to distract us from the hard work of addressing the scars on our hearts and hurts in our heads that literally separate us from all that God has for us. No matter how much you love a person, or are in love with a person, and want them to be a part of your life, some seasons simply won’t allow it. A season of reflection and concentration on Christ, Self, and the relationship between the two don’t allow room for another. And if you truly believe God has the ability and truly wants to give you the desires of your heart, you must accept a few truths. If it’s simply not coming together you must accept that one, this may not be the time, and two; this may not be the person… Or, this just isn’t the right time for you and that person, and that’s okay. It may not seem fair to you, or that other person, nor does it make the resolve any easier. If that person isn’t in Christ or even if they are, they may not understand…and that’s okay, because that too is something for God to handle, not us. All we can truly do is submit to the process believing that the growth on the other side of right now, will be worth the sacrifices and that God still hears our hearts and his concern and willingness to address our hearts has not and will not change.
It is the potential finality of the situation that keeps us from leaving behind that which hinders us from moving forward. Having been left standing; holding a half-beating broken heart before; it is difficult to imagine the repercussions of leaving one behind. While in the natural it is considered leaving one behind, when in reality and in the spirit; it is taking a step towards the work, relationship, and calling God has for us. It would be a disservice to oneself to maintain soul ties, yolks, and relationships that aren’t made for the particular season we are being called into. It’s basically saying No to the invitation from God to be called into a place of deeper understanding, power, ability, faith, and love. “No, I don’t want to.” When in reality, you want to, but you want to take everything with you; you just know that God requires you to show up…alone…and empty handed. But to step back from the situation and see it for what it really is, though no solace to the heart and the potential guilt that is to come; definitely puts things into a perspective that can make taking the step at the very least more palatable. In terms of a relationship that does not, technically cannot, emotionally half-way there, and physically cannot meet all of your needs. The question becomes, what is the difference? If I am in relationship with someone that I love, or am in love with, and want to be with; yet find myself unhappy, dissatisfied, and unfulfilled for whatever reason, what would be the difference in letting it go? What is the fear driving us to stay when some form of healing, and growth is on the other side of what if? If I love you now, if I’m in love with you now, and I’m not happy, and the power to resolve whatever keeps this thing from coming together lies in my yes to God whether I or that other person realize it or not, what would I be losing by saying no to this ship, and yes to what God is so graciously offering me?
The very issues that hold us hostage from moving forward are the same issues that make you want to stay. In our heart of hearts, as unprepared as we are for it; we know that in order to undo what has been done, it has to be all or nothing. And nobody really wants to give up- on an all or nothing condition. But because He knows us, He knows as well as we, that this is the sacrifice that must be made to walk in what He has prepared for us. But the feeling of finality is what bothers us the most. What if there is no one else after this person? What if this was the one? What if my choosing me, means a broken and left behind them? …. It could really mean all of those things. Or not. One must ask themselves if they believe that this is the ship for them, if this person means that much to us and we don’t want to leave them behind, cut them out of our life, stop knowing them; am I willing to submit my brokenness to the One that can present me whole again? Is my fulfillment and worth more important than appeasing said person, as well as our ever changing fickle, bipolar, and indecisive hearts? The seemingly unacceptable truth of the matter is, when you really love someone, you want the absolute best for them – in all cases. That means, whether we are in their lives or not, the love for that person does not die, it does not dissipate, it 100% remains. And If this person that we feel so strongly about, was broken and had the opportunity to go forward without u; to receive their healing, be made whole, and live the kind of life God intended for them to have; then we would adamantly insist they take the opportunity, even if it meant leaving us behind. Because their well-being is greater than any selfish emotion our hearts could muster up to make them feel as though they should stay. And in turn, if this person in this ship feels this way about you, they too should understand our sacrifice. May take time, a lot of praying and a whole lot of tears, but understanding will come for that person, and us as well. A part of the first test in being called out on to the water, is the condition in which we leave things behind. We cannot fully commit to the Lord or ourselves and the life, and the love, and the healing He has planned for us if we allow guilt, regret, and the need to make sure that person in that ship is okay. For the one that hasn’t been okay for the longest, it is time to …be okay. And be okay with it.